I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
We're just Facebook friends. Use guy logic. I tapped your wife in high school, 20 years and 60 lbs ago, when she was hot and experimental. Why would I mess with that now? It would ruin the vivid memories of her that I keep in my spank bank.
I will find you...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
A man just squeezed past me in a tight space and said, "Excuse us."
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
pray to the hookup gods
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
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