some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Yes I have a handle on life. A handle of Svedka.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Randomize
