Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
I ate too many pot brownies and passed out topless with my boobs painted like the American flag
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
Randomize
