K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
All I know, is I had green sex and beer and got driven home. That's it.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
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