If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
You grabbed my arm, said "I need you" in a very concerned voice and dragged me to the other room where you were blasting Evolution of Beyoncé.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
Randomize
