Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Randomize
