Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
Alcohol and I aren't friends right now.
Randomize
