shes about as inviting as chlamydia
She has 260 profile pics. In 260 she's ugly and in 255, she's making the peace sign with her hands...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Randomize
