so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I'm pmsing and only have one functional foot
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize