I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I know for sure he's a bro because he closed the door so my gf didn't see me hooking up with her cousin.
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
