I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
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