we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
It's 4:30 AM and I just walked through a line of 10 deer without them freaking out. I am the campus deer king.
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
