Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Got so drunk I broke my sink in half. Not. Lying.
Randomize
