Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
Just saw a maroon grand am stop on my street, the driver opened the door, vomited, and then drove away like nothing happened. Been there, done that.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize