I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
birth control should be required to get into college
we tried to steer you away from them but you just kept yelling 'i need dick' and going back. sorry.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I put on a face mask and masturbated for an hour... my face now has a green tint
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
