i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I'd say I'd distract him, but I lose my psychic powers when guys get girlfriends. And by psychic powers I mean taking off my top.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
My dad lost his bandaid somewhere in the turkey. It was a mixture of thanksgiving and an Easter egg hunt
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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