so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
