She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
If your still trying to figure out the moment I stopped caring; it was the point in which you said "I really wasn't sure whose baby it was"
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
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