I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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