It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
Screwed.edu
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
