whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
