Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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