reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
this is an emotional support booty call
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
