you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
i was puking in the toilet, he walked in and to talk to me and started puking in the sink.. Could this be my perfect man??
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
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