is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
After he came all he could say was how great the lighting fixtures where in my apartment.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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