I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
you guys have a strange definition of the word fun. I would have said dangerous, terrifying, or life-threatening. of course, bowling can now be described the same way.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
