i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
Randomize
