More tranny stories later!
Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
if only i could text you this smell
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Asking him not to sleep with other girls is like asking me not to have my period apparently
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
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