I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
He just said his penis sings like Mariah Carey...Im going with drunken.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
Randomize
