people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
they need to just BURY HIM!
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
Im sitting on the exxon bathroom floor, idk if its healthy but it sure is cold
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Randomize
