He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize
