Well I thought that next 8 ball would either kill us or turn us into Gods
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
Last night while we were having sex, 'God bless the USA' started playing on his itunes. He came almost immediately... so awkward.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
