we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
How the fuck did I get small bruises all over my body?
Well you were laying on the couch naked after the girls left, staring into space, and I went over to the pool table and threw every ball as hard as I could at you from point blank range . You didn't flinch, blink, or scream for any of them. next time maybe you won't fuck my girl while I'm taking a shit
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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