on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
my phone went off during the middle of it and he ask what i was doing. he wouldn't let my reply with "your boss". ..
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Randomize
