wrigley field is MILF paradise
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
You made out with two different species that night
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
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