super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
