girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I won't be able to make it. Too hung over. Can't hold down fluids. I'm in the bathtub trying to hydrate my body through osmosis. And yes, Tequila Tuesday is totally still on for tonight.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Randomize
