All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
she looked like the before picture.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
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