I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
Randomize
