I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
By far the fardest thing to do drunk is open a band aid
Randomize
