so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
