my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
do herpes really smell.
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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