She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
Randomize
