how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I am the drunkest girl in the tree.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Was rudely woken up by strangers at 4:15am. I was leaning against the stoplight at 9th
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize
