Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
just jacked off with my ROTC uniform on. boy i feel like an american.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize