I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
If I started a story with "That three-year-old totally deserved it," would you listen?
I think I explained what happened in the voicemail. But I think I might have just cried and ranted about how cool osiris shoes are
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
Floor bacon is actually really good
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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