Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Im part way to drunk.
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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