Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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