i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize