I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
I'll be waiting for you under the stairs with peanut butter and tequila ... Don't tell the neighbors
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
The police scanner is talking about you again....
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
