My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
You kept showing the cop the bruises on the bottoms of your feet and claiming you were a medical mystery.
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize