im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I wish I still had pics from the prostitute I paid/dated
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Holy sore nipples Batman
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Randomize
