He could be your dad!
We discussed that right before he asked for my number
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
Sad realization: so long as I use this sleep apnea machine, I will never be the little spoon!
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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