i love how he claims to not know english but when i ask him to come over and fuck me he's all of a sudden fluent
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
I'm hung over and my mom made me go to church. I feel like such a sinner.
I need an aspirin and some dignity.
Randomize