8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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