I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
so, does the "dick the size of your forearm" thing run in the family then?
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I had a dream last night where I used the marginal product rule to figure out how much more hangover I got per sip of four loko, econ is taking over my life...
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
So I craigslisted sugar daddies and I'm pretty sure I found us one if you can pretend to be asian.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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