Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Randomize
