goodnight i made you a song goodbye
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
i think im in europe. pls send help
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
