enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
i'm just going to get a pitcher of margarita. sober up by 10. and then do my accounting project
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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